You did not notice the last time you fell down and got a scratch on your knee and did not stop crying and begging your mother to kiss your Barbie bandaid. You did not notice the last time you were excited to go to the park and go down the slide as many times as you could before it was time to head home. You did not notice the last time you pretended to be asleep in the car so your father would carry you inside.
You did not notice, but now you begin to reminisce. The changes in yourself, your habits, your beliefs—all different now that you have aged and gained knowledge that your younger self could have never imagined.
You are a completely different person, but you did not notice the gradual changes. You did not notice the daily transformations you grew into. You are still genetically the same; however, you are entirely different.
You might not have noticed yourself growing up, but I am sure you did notice the new pimple forming on your nose. You did notice the person who left your message on “delivered” for two days. You did notice the bad grade you got on the paper you worked for hours on.
But you wish you did not, you wish you did not notice these small, insignificant things that somehow consume all of your thoughts.
You wish you had noticed the last time your parents tied your shoe for you, but instead you notice the last time they scolded you.
You wish you had noticed yourself growing up, but instead you noticed how you overlooked your childhood.
You did notice that.
You notice how you are at the age you once dreamed to be. It seemed like it would be forever until you are “that” old, and now you dream to be at the age you once took for granted.
Of course, it is not your fault. It is a natural occurrence: overlooking your life and wishing you had done things differently. But alas, we can not. We can only shape our futures and learn from our past.
The next time you are regretting a choice, try to reflect and grow from it instead of longing for a different outcome—we all know the past is not going to change.
