Think of that one actor, musical artist, fictional character or online personality that you love. Now, think of a family member, friend or pet that you also love, and reassess: what does the word “love” really mean to you? Do you care as deeply about figures you have never met as you do about your own family?

Parasocial relationships are defined as one-sided, emotional relationships with people you do not know. Psychologists attribute their development to humans’ tendency to develop attachments to others. Social media and 24/7 internet access enable us to have enough information about a stranger’s life to believe we know them.
This is not always bad. Finding comfort in seeing figures who represent qualities we possess is certainly a positive factor and can provide a sense of hope or motivation to pursue goals. But at what point is that line crossed?

When you begin to check your phone constantly, obsessing over the minutiae of another person’s life, it can become draining or isolating, let alone the danger due to increase in screen time alone. Teenagers and young adults may even experience a lack of social skills or motivation when they are able to sit at home and find comfort in the internet instead of real human interaction. 

It is also imperative to be aware that companies intentionally capitalize on that isolation, training actors to publicly divulge “secret” information or tell social media users that they “love” them. News outlets and paparazzi make money by  posting intrusive content about celebrities’ lives to feed the obsession. Think of meet-and-greet events or book signings. Aren’t these just attempts to feel closer to that person or have a tangible way to embody your admiration? 

The truth is, these people do not know who you are, and they certainly do not love you. There is no harm in finding joy in the media because it can truly be inspiring or a positive influence.

However, be careful to not care too much about these one-sided relationships because they can be an unhealthy attempt to fill a gap in your life with superficiality. Be aware that curated posts and merchandise campaigns are intended to manipulate you into becoming overly invested.

Instead, use your energy to build gratifying relationships with teammates, peers, family and friends. That way, you can build connections that are truly personal. I promise you, the one you have with that one TV show is not.